


Refine Not Define

by HaleStormStilinski



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: And I can't remember, Awesome Wanda Maximoff, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Bucky Bear gets hugs, Bucky Gets a New Arm, Get ready for pain Y'all!!, I read Wanda's parts in her voice while writing this lmao, I remember all of them, It's like having nightmares, Mild Language, Mind Reading, Nice chats, No matter how much I try I can't undo everything, Other, Pain, Past Torture, Sad with a Happy Ending, Sadness, Some Stucky but not really, Wanda is the coolest, You saved my life, Your past doesn't define you, references to past violence, thank you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-16 00:07:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11817075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaleStormStilinski/pseuds/HaleStormStilinski
Summary: Bucky thanks Wanda for saving his life during the battle in Leipzig. Things get sad, but end happy.





	Refine Not Define

**Author's Note:**

> A scene that should happen in Infinity War. Just saying. Well just the happy stuff, cause I'd start bawling. And this Bucky will actually talk. A lot! :DDD.

Bucky didn't know much about her, but what he did know, was she was a friend of Steve's and she saved his life. When King T'Challa almost killed him when they were in Leipzig, she stopped him at just the right time, and he never got to thank her for that.

After he woke up from Cryo sleep in Wakanda, he felt a little weight lift off of his shoulders. But all the damage _HYDRA_ did to him all those years, and even after he stayed in Bucharest for two years, it'll haunt him forever. But when he woke up, he felt some peace. He just has the rest of his life to feel more of it.

#

Steve told him her name is Wanda Maximoff. Her and her twin brother were apart of some experiment _HYDRA_ was doing, while using some scepter thing from a crazy Norse God from outer space...Yeah these days, nothing surprised him anymore.

And her brother died protecting the arrow guy and a little boy. One day when Steve left their apartment, he finally got the chance to sit down and talk.

After pulling some strings, Steve finally managed to convince Tony to let Wanda back out into the public, and he let her stay with them. 

#

Wanda was in the kitchen when Bucky made his approach. He cleared his throat and cautiously asked "Hey uh, Wanda?" 

She turned and looked back at him, orange in hand and she smiled. She said "Hey Bucky, what's up? You didn't go with Steve?"

The super soldier shook his head and said "Nah, I uh...I was hopin' I'd get the chance to talk to you...If that's okay?"

She nodded and said "Of course." They sat down at the dining room table and she asked "So you wanted to talk about what happened in Leipzig?"

He looked at her confused and went to open his mouth when the Sokovian said "Mind reading, it's apart of what I can do."

Bucky nodded and asked "Can you...See anything else?"

Wanda smiled at him and she said "At first, I could see in someone's head whether they liked it or not. Times have changed. On the surface I only see easy thoughts, feelings...But I don't look beyond the surface, unless they want me to. You're safe."

He nodded and smiled a little saying "Thank you...And yeah, I uh...I never got the chance to thank you...For what you did for me."

She nodded and her smile widened. "It was no trouble...The timing was just right, that looked too close for comfort."

The super soldier chuckled and said "Yeah, it was...But...Why did you do it?"

She furrowed her brows and asked "What do you mean?" And he watched as her orange was suddenly floating above the table between them, the peel being taken off in a steady, spiral motion by itself until it was completely peeled. it dropped back in her hand and she pulled a piece off before offering it to him.

He graciously accepted it, popping it in his mouth before asking "When you helped me...Did Steve tell you to?"

Wanda said "First off, I left Stark's safehouse with Clint, of my own free will. Steve told me nothing, but I had a pretty good idea of what would happen, and I wanted to help..." The Super Soldier nodded and she said "Plus, I saved you, because I wanted to. I saw in you an innocent man who was wrongfully accused...Plus I know how much you mean to Steve."

The former assassin swallowed and looked down at the table, eyes on his hands. He quietly said "I'm far from innocent." Looking up at her through his lashes. "And you don't have to look beyond the surface I know that."

The Sokovian put another piece of orange in her mouth and chewed. After she swallowed, she cautiously reached out and took his hand in hers. She said "I see differently. You are a man whose survived losing _everything_. Experienced horrors even the strongest of us could never possibly face. And after all of that pain, misery, the _shame_...You still have a tender heart..." She smiled and said "And I think that's beautiful."

Bucky said "It's all beat up...It'll never heal."

She said "That may be, but give it time."

He nodded and after a minute of silence he asked "Don't freak out for me askin', but...How did it feel when you lost your brother?" And was preparing himself just in case she did.

He smile faltered and slowly, it disappeared. She said "I felt it happen...I'm still not sure if it was that twin telepathy thing, or our powers...But I felt the pain he felt...And I felt his heart beat it's last beat...I screamed, destroyed some of Ultron's robots that were close by...I cried...Then I found Ultron before they destroyed the city...I ripped his cold metal heart from his chest and told him that it was what he had just done to me...And sometimes.." She chuckled and Bucky felt bad for asking.

She looked up at him and said "Sometimes I can feel it all over again, an eternal loop." 

He slowly reached out and gently gripped her shoulder with his flesh hand. He said "I shouldn't have asked, I'm sorry-"

She shook her had and said "No, don't be...You asked because that is how you feel?"

He nodded and she said "You know...I once heard a saying...Tough times don't define you, they _refine_ you...I think that works out for us."

The Super Soldier snorted and said "Right. Cause I'm the poster bot for refinement...What they did to me, while I would be...It felt like I was possessed. It wasn't really me doing it, but I did it...And while I was possessed, I remembered...Every detail. Of every mission. I remember all the people I killed, and then they'd scramble my brain again, but...That was always the worst because I could _never forget_ that. I could forget everything else, Steve, who I was before, but I got to remember all the blood I've spilled and everything before and after that would happen..."

The Sokovian studied him while he continued. He said "When you lost your brother, you said your heart was ripped out? Well mine.." He chuckled darkly and felt his bottom lip begin to quiver.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and he said "It felt like that too...Only they ripped it out, stomped it, shot and stabbed and shredded it to shit...Then they would piece it back together with some duct tape and Band-Aids, and shove it right back it, like it was nothing. Like they expected it to work the same way, but they knew, they fucking _knew_ it wouldn't _ever_ be the same again. 

You, and Steve, and all the rest of the very few people left in this world who don't think I'm a monster, can tell me how it wasn't my fault, you can say that as much as you want, but it is. It's like having a nightmare...Or well, think of it like having a seriously fucked up nightmare that feels _so real_ , you think it's really happening. You wake up and feel relieved when you realize it wasn't real, but it happened. But for me, every time I thought it wasn't real, every time I tried to wake up, I would wake up, and it was still happening, and I beg and scream for it to stop, but it won't!"

Wanda quickly got out of her seat and hugged him from behind while he was still sitting down. And she stayed right where she was while he let it all out, and hoped it stayed this way, otherwise, they might need new furniture...Again. 

#

It took almost half an hour to calm him down. Steve still hadn't come back, but he should be back soon. They sat back at the table in awkward silence. Bucky's eyes were now red and puffy, but he could care less.

He smiled a little at her and said "Sorry again...I just got a lot bottled up.."

She nodded and said "Glad I could help. Be sure to let some of those feelings out often. Write them down in your journals."

Bucky's eyes suddenly went wide and she said "Don't worry. I didn't read them, Steve told me you have journals for your memories."

He sighed in relief and they laughed. He nodded at her and smiled, bigger this time. He said "Thank you...Sometimes there's just some things I'm afraid to share with Steve..."

She nodded and asked "You do know he wouldn't ever leave you, right?" 

He considered it. There would be plenty of reason for Steve or anyone to leave, any sane person would. He shrugged and said "I guess, I mean...He knows what I've done."

She nodded and said "Yet he's still here. You live with him...He doesn't think any less of you...When I first read his mind, I felt this heaviness in it, and in his heart. Guilt...Then I saw a man falling...Before I knew you I had no idea who that man was, other than a name. _Bucky_...That loss took a very big piece from him... _Your_ loss broke his heart. And seeing you alive, no matter what version of you he gets, his heart heals, more and more, every day." She smiled and said "So yeah I think it's safe to say, he isn't going anywhere, anytime soon."

#

After they finished talking, the brunette waited for Steve to get home. And as soon as the blond walked through the door, the Super Soldier pulled him into a hug, holding him tight.

That surprised Steve, but he smiled and hugged back. Normally Bucky would stray from touching or being touched too much, due to some trust issues that still exist, but he wasn't about to complain. 

He chuckled and said "Hey Buck...You're certainly in a cheery mood...Everything okay?" 

The brunette nodded, his stubble rubbing against the blonds clothes shoulder, and he smiled. "Yeah. I'm great."


End file.
